telstar

The 2007 Darwin Awards


Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the
glorious winner:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to
fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.


And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted
a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting
negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for
drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered
the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk
opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you
money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the
cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window
was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed
description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.
A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh
he'd ever had.

Telstar

feijoa

I love the deadpan delivery of some of these "Understandably, he shot her"

Sarmatian

wow... the first one... seriously wow.. how can anyone be that stupid? These are hilarious though.. thanks for sharing!

frankk

Still getting better, year by year!

bombo

Wow...Thanks for sharing!

unicorn4mi

LMAO: Thank You for sharing. I read these to my father and I haven't heard him laugh so hard since my Mother died 5 years ago. THANK YOU very much for sharing these and making my father put alot of laughter in his life today. It was good to see him laugh for a change
GOD BLESS YOU

PS: My father just rold me to tell you his favorite one was the Busdriver and mental patients :-)

shego

Some of these are ridiculous.

prurit

Thanks for the laugh - incredible stories!
Like the one about the mental patients

crapolabar

ahaha this is great

nemo33

Too stupid to live. :biggrin: