Washington Post Awards (Funny Stuff) - Forum

telstar · 02-16-2008, 04:13 PM

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you haveg gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
re run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand):
The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof
and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.

17. Fornikite (n.), to have sexual intercourse with a sex worker
while paying with a n.s.f. check

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating.
The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking
down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (n): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): it's like, when everybody is sending off all
hese really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and
it's like,a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a
grub in the fruit you're eating.And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Telstar

chiliverde · 07-25-2008, 10:08 PM

I like it. Thanks for the share.

terricotta · 07-26-2008, 05:32 AM

Quote:

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)

My two faves. Thanks.

Bad Ash · 07-30-2008, 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by telstar

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Telstar

It's the simple ones that work best sometimes.

nigmaelion? · 08-01-2008, 06:11 AM

clever....

a2nXp4c · 08-01-2008, 07:49 PM

Coffee is a good one.

juanvaldez · 09-24-2008, 10:27 PM

LOL! Unfortunately, I've met a few "ignoranuses"...mostly in management...

wearebrainstorm · 09-25-2008, 08:21 PM

Completely Ridiculous

nsk · 10-07-2008, 05:18 AM

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lronclawbigun · 10-26-2008, 01:43 AM

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02-16-2008, 04:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
telstar Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: cornwall U.K. Gender: Age: 66 Posts: 100 Thanks: 0 Thanked 33 Times in 24 Posts	Washington Post Awards (Funny Stuff) Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are: 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you haveg gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you re run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. 17. Fornikite (n.), to have sexual intercourse with a sex worker while paying with a n.s.f. check The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners: 1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 2. Foreploy (n): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness. 8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 9. Karmageddon (n): it's like, when everybody is sending off all hese really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like,a serious bummer. 10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action. 12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 15. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.And the pick of the literature: 16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole. Telstar

07-25-2008, 10:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
chiliverde Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Age: 37 Posts: 8 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Washington Post Awards (Funny Stuff) I like it. Thanks for the share.

08-01-2008, 06:11 AM	#5 (permalink)
nigmaelion? Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 5 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Washington Post Awards (Funny Stuff) clever....

08-01-2008, 07:49 PM	#6 (permalink)
a2nXp4c Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Age: 97 Posts: 5 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Washington Post Awards (Funny Stuff) Coffee is a good one.

09-24-2008, 10:27 PM	#7 (permalink)
juanvaldez Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 15 Thanks: 13 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Washington Post Awards (Funny Stuff) LOL! Unfortunately, I've met a few "ignoranuses"...mostly in management...

09-25-2008, 08:21 PM	#8 (permalink)
wearebrainstorm Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Age: 25 Posts: 10 Thanks: 5 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Washington Post Awards (Funny Stuff) Completely Ridiculous

10-07-2008, 05:18 AM	#9 (permalink)
nsk Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 112 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	stieber clutch *OK..stieberè½´æ‰¿ stieberä¸å›½å…¬å¸ stieber bearing STIEBER Clutch å•å‘è½´æ‰¿-welcome to stieber china.**stieber stieber bearings stieber clutch One-way bearings

10-26-2008, 01:43 AM	#10 (permalink)
lronclawbigun Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 361 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Warhammer Online is finally heading to store shelves After years of false starts and prolonged development, Warhammer Online is finally heading to store shelves.The game, which publisher Electronic Arts lauds as having set a "a company record for the most retail pre-orders placed by consumers for a PC title in EA’s 26 year history," opens its servers to prospective players on September 18.Now they olny need warhammer cd key to taste of it....This is truly a historic day for both EA and Mythic as we prepare to send more WAR copies and WAR cd key to retailers than any other newly launched MMORPG in North America and Europe," said Mythic Entertainment co-founder Mark Jacobs."Over the course of our beta, over a million gamers throughout the world sent a clear signal to us -- they want WAR and everybody holds one Warhammer Online cd key. we are more than happy to oblige them."buy cheap Warhammer Power leveling and World of Warcraft cd key.

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